…oh dear, oh dear! I’ve really no idea. Once again I’ve proved that a corker of a plan just got up and ran!! Projects involving wine bottle corks and twigs, which may be great for other people, are just chaos around me. Note to self to steer clear in future.
It all started a year ago while I was flicking through a Christmassy magazine of the country interior ilk, when I spied a fab thing to create using corks. Reindeers, of corks. What a good idea I thought. Visions floated (like corks) through my silly head, of all the wonderful reindeers I could produce for friends and family using mostly stuff I could either forage for, or already had in. Fantastic!
One problem – the magazine wasn’t mine, so it went astray. Never mind, where there’s a Jill, there’s a way. I googled images of cork reindeer, and saved them onto Pinterest. Right, I had my corks saved up, and pictures to guide me.
Problem two – now what the chuff do I do? Scrutinising my best Pinterest image, I tentatively collected some bits onto my kitchen table and sat studying them, thinking ‘Duhhh’.
After the period of time it would have taken for Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen to circumnavigate the Earth delivering presents, I finally selected two twigs which looked suitably antler-i-fied, twisted them into the end of one cork and held it up for inspection.
So far so good.
Next, how am I doing the neck? Should I slice another cork in half length-ways and ram a thin bit of wire through everything? The Pinterest image, sitting smugly on my computer screen in the other room, said not to do that. The head was attached to the body by a slightly thicker stump of twig.
Reins slipping out of my hands…
But shouldn’t I get the legs onto the body first? There are two forked sticks, which mean I can push in just two instead of four. Right. Good.
Problem three – the legs look ok, but they don’t stand up. Huh. Wait, they don’t need to stand up, they’re supposed to hang. How? I’m off to town tomorrow, I can buy some tiny screw-in hoops.
Right, head onto body. I cut a stick and sharpened it at both ends, reasoning that it would go in easier. Then I pushed it into the head. Next, I attempted to secure the head and neck to the body and legs. One of the legs snapped. Damn! I found another, shoved it in and tried again. Now I realised the possibility that both head and body might be too heavy and bulky to be supported by the short piece of stick, and abandoned hope of fastening a nice bow round said stick.
Between oaths and obscenities the neck refused all persuasion to connect to the rest of the reindeer. Just when I thought I had it in both top and bottom, it skipped off again, and again. And again…
Muttering incoherently, I shoved everything aside and went in search of caffeine.
A full day, and several strong coffees later – do cork reindeer Christmas ornaments actually require bodies? I have the metal loops, the ribbon, and a red pin for a nose so bright – but will it be strong enough to guide my sleigh tonight?
And what happens if one of the antlers drops off?